My dogs last goodbye

I woke up on Tuesday morning and I wasn’t feeling too good. My mum made me my breakfast at 6am but I just couldn’t stomach it. My mum tried feeding me alone from the other dogs and that wasn’t the issue I just couldn’t eat. I didn’t feel well enough to eat. My mum put my breakfast in the fridge and went back to bed. I lay in the kitchen with my other doggy friends. They kept me company, they knew.

When my humans got up around 10am Jenna put my breakfast down in front of me but I really couldn’t eat it. I wanted to, I sniffed at it but I just had to walk away. When I say walked, I struggled. I really wasn’t good, I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t eat and I wasn’t enjoying life. I just wanted it all to be over. I laid in the living room and didn’t move for hours. Jenna put me in the chair and wrapped me up in a blanket. She tried to feed me a flake. I love chocolate, I did my best to eat it but I could only manage a tiny bit.

Both my mum and Jenna sat cuddling me for hours telling me how much they loved me and they understood if I wanted to give in. I didn’t want to give in, not at all but I simply couldn’t carry on like this. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t wee, I could barely walk. I remember my human Grandad visiting. He tried to give me a cherry bakewell but I had no interest in it. I hadn’t had a drink of water all day. My humans kept putting water to my mouth but I wasn’t bothered.

When grandad went, the humans decided to ring the vets. I know that place, it isn’t my favourite. I’ve had a hysterectomy and hip operation there which really hurt and I didn’t fancy going back but I had no choice. My humans took me to the local vets in the car, they had to carry me at this point. My mum sat in the back with me whilst Jenna drove. Jenna carried me through the rain in to the vets. More of my favourite humans arrived. They was all stroking me in the waiting room. One of my humans burst in to tears and had to leave for a few minutes. I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t want them to be sad. I love them with all my heart. They have loved me my entire life. Why were they so sad?

A lovely lady shouted my name. Jenna carried me in and my humans followed behind. Jenna placed me on the table. The vet took a look at me. She checked my heartbeat, checked my temperature and tried to get me to stand up but I couldn’t do it. She told my family that I had a really high temperature and my heart murmur had gotten to the worst stage now. She told them I have had a stroke and I would be confused from now on. I wouldn’t know whether I was sat down or stood up. Inside or outside. My humans all burst in to tears, I didn’t know what was going on, I just know I didn’t feel well. My humans had the decision of whether to “put me to sleep”, whatever that means. I liked the sound of sleep, I hadn’t slept much. One human said “I just don’t want her to be in pain anymore”. Whilst another said she thinks “it’s for the best”.

The lady came in with a needle full of liquid. She asked my mum to sign a piece of paper. She did whilst crying. My mum held my head cuddling and kissing me. Telling me how much she loved me. They all was, they all had a hand on me stroking me telling me they loved me. It was hard to hear them over the cries but I did. I knew they loved me anyway. The lady put the needle in my leg and injected the liquid. I started to feel sleepy, I fell asleep, I felt at peace but I couldn’t wake up. I will never wake up.

I will always love my humans and other doggy friends.

Bess x

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15 thoughts on “My dogs last goodbye

  1. This made me set whilst reading it on the bus. My sympathies go out to you and your family, I know how hard it is to lose a pet. Lots of hugs xxxx

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful way to remember Bess. My heartbreaks for you. I hope you find comfort hugging the other fur babies. They are probably grieving as well. Sending love your way!

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